Stop hiding & find the right agent or editor
The only way to navigate the publishing waters is with honesty and clarity. Why are so many authors afraid to be clear about what they bring to the table?
If you know me in real life, you may know that I'm more than a little bit obsessed with the We Can Do Hard Things podcast.
My sisters and I have many a text thread about whatever is on the pod that week and all my close friends have all heard some version of the words "I was listening to Glennon, Sister, and Abby's podcast the other day..." or "Have I told you how much I love We Can Do Hard Things" or "I heard XYZ-Amazing-Author on WCDHT the other day..." In truth, my besties basically laugh out loud every time I start a conversation (or several) that way. It's a time-honored Julie tradition ;)
So I laughed at myself when I realized that I was going to talk about speed dating, writing, and, yes, We Can Do Hard Things in this post…
On one episode a couple of years ago, a behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury visited WCDHT to share her tips for success in the cutthroat waters of online dating. Stay with me, here; it gets writerly…
The more Ury talked about things like how important it is to be clear what you want out of a relationship, to focus on how a person makes you feel rather than what they look like on paper, how hiding who you are is going to come back to haunt you, and the importance of being honest and open, the more I my ears perked up at a potential writing metaphor.
She warned folx who are entering the dating sphere to avoid being "fruit on the bottom yogurt" (i.e. showing only their “plain yogurt” attributes while hiding those special and surprising “fruit on the bottom” traits). While you do this, you might think you’re making the maximum number of people like you, but you might miss finding the ONE person who is really going to love you for the full flavor of that fruit you’re keeping hidden.
And that is so like the process of trying to find an agent or editor. We think if we hide our flaws, or send something out that's good enough, someone will see past it and still give us our long-sought yes. But the publishing waters, like those of online dating, are treacherous. And the only way to navigate them is with honesty and clarity.
Tricksy tricksters
When Jessica Vitalis and I were Pitch Wars co-mentors, we were clear up-front that we didn't want to mentor portal fantasy. While it's a favorite genre of mine when done well, it's hard to get right and a notoriously hard sell. So for the short time we'd have to mentor someone, we thought we'd have more to offer other genres.
Yet folx tried to send us a pitch and pages that hid the fact that their story was a portal. They called it fantasy. They called it sci-fi. They just left off the genre entirely. But guess what? We figured it out every time.
Those writers would have had such a better chance of being chosen if they'd held out for the mentors who really wanted to mentor a portal fantasy instead of wasting their shot on someone who didn't. And hiding what their stories were all about hurt their chances instead of helping them.
I'm not calling anyone out, but I see folks doing this with agents and editors too. They don't want fantasy, but maybe they'll love mine! They said they don't read MG, but mine is upper MG, so maybe they'll make an exception! I've heard it all. And I'll probably even hear from someone today who didn't follow this advice and found amazing success. To which I say "Congratulations!" and "You're the exception that proves the rule."
This advice works both ways...
Finding a successful match is not just about putting ourselves out there authentically to show agents, editors, book coaches, potential critique partners, contest judges, or whoever you're trying to meet who we are. It's about discerning whether those people (who we hope are also authentically putting themselves out there) are a good match for us.
How often do we look at the accomplishments of an agent, editor, book coach, or potential critique partner and value their resume, their accolades, their all-star client roster more than how they make us feel, how aligned their tastes and values are?
Sure, we're looking for people who can help us improve as writers, can help us take the next step toward publication, but to do that we have to enter into relationship with these folx. And that should not just be a leap of faith, but a decision made based on our intuition, on personality match, on preferences, and on values alignment.
If you're looking for an agent or editor match, or trying to find the right book coach or developmental editor, listen carefully to what these folx say online, at conference, at interviews, and in their bios. In the immortal words of Maya Angelou, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." The fanciest pedigree might not always be the best personality fit, just like the rich investment banker might not be the one who makes you swipe right! Writing is an intuitive process, so don't shut that intuition off after you type "The End." Listen to it and let it guide you as you search for your perfect match.
The same is true when you’re looking for a critique group; you want to be open and honest about who you are while also listening to your gut about whether their values and taste are a good match for you. It can be a hard balance to strike, but these are all skills worth practicing as a well-rounded writer.
So, if you're looking for a critique partner, there's still a little over a week to sign up for this round of CP Meet Cute, my free critique partner matching service. I knew there was a reason I used romance language to talk about finding your perfect CP match ;)